Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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