Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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