I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We are all done wearing pants today
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
