oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I want a musical about memes.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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