I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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