every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
