Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
