What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
