i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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