Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
