Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize