I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize