I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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