Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
