"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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