Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
