bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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