Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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