I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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