brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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