well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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