i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
