we're blogging at a bar
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
