Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
