whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
