She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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