i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
