Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
