True but thats because hes a fetus.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
