Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize