Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
