I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
