I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
handjob tips. give me some.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
