i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
