shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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