The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
