Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
