the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
