No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
