Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
