i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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