at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
