i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think I am morally bankrupt
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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