we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
