Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
