new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
