I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
