...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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