brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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