If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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