guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
