That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
