marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Randomize
