that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
