"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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