singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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