he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
