chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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