why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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