I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
