Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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