grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
ttyl tear gas
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
