Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
