You really coming over, don't trick.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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