i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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